Home Truths and the search for Narnia

I ain’t an ordinary person with an extraordinary story to tell, just found myself in circumstances due to my desire to appear and then become dysfunctional. The lifestyle anarchist took me over, it has been a while to kick the habit.

Every so often I find myself back in the ever descending circle of the dysfunctional attention seekers to ease the sinking feeling of isolation.. There are times I love the solitude of myself, other times it drives me to go seeking attention. The Home Truth being I was forced to integrate be of a community, I call this The Bastard-discourse of myself. From there life became a ruin. I was bullied due to being overweight with a speech problem.

One is learning to become a loner once more but, as with Tuesday, I find myself with the attention seekers and then pondering the wisdom of such a move as I sat drinking Earl Gary tea, in the quiet before the storm. Sheffield is deep in snow, I have loved snow from the age of six.. it was a cold December night, someone had set fire to the local changing rooms, used for the playing fields that backed onto 37 Hallsall Avenue. I watched them burn to the ground as the snow fell, the next day being Christmas Day. As the rest of the children home opened presents, I got the alright to go outside, I walked into another world (in later life it become known as Narnia). I was on my own, it was wonderful

I got back indoors, was given my presents to open then was forced to share them with the rest of the home, here began The Bastard-discourse of myself, I have never forgotten that Christmas Day. As I marched in protest with people nothing in common with myself in the snow on Tuesday I was taken back to then, Walking round on Wednesday was like a snowy apocalypse movie: No cars, just bands of semi silent people walking down the middle of the road and It’s official! Deepest UK snow is in Sheffield 18″+ of snow has buried England’s 4th city.

Tuesday was nothing more than attention seeking, I have nothing in common with these people they likewise have nothing in common with myself, just fair weather friends, that I need to stop pretending one is dysfunctional and end being a lifestyle anarchist, a lot has happened in the last 4 years and I found myself involved through the desire to escape 39 Elmore Road, it is now time to stop looking for oblivion and go find Narnia, I sometimes have found this in my urban explorations.. I will write more but the door on the wardrobe is open back to Todwick Grange and the snow of 1976. You get this, I like lost worlds and snow reminds me of such a places..

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